Country Club Golf

Had an interesting golf experience last week. Thursday, someone else was paying and we played at a very nice, private country club in Charlotte. I saw an ad posted saying membership was $400/month! The clubhouse was gigantic. The men's locker room was larger than my house, had several plasma TVs going, a wall of cologne's and aftershaves, a staff that included a shoe shine guy and bathroom attendant, and full lockers just like in the movies. The course was in immaculate condition. Drink carts, ranger, the whole deal. Today, I golfed at a small course, only 9 holes, drinks are facuts coming out of the ground, 50% grass, 50% dirt, you get the idea. So, I got the idea for a top 10 list.



Top 10 Ways you know the course you are playing will never host a PGA event:

1. You can pay for your round with a $20 bill and get several dollars change back.

2. You are wearing jeans and a polo shirt and you're the nicest dressed person there.

In fact, the dress code doesn't appear to even require a shirt. Mullets are strongly recommended.

3. Hole diagrams? What are those?

4. Lunch at the turn : corndog, crackers, and root beer - $2.

5. Tee times are not an option, schedule books are for those other guys. Just come whenever you want and tee off.

6. Yard markers? What are you, a pansy? Just hit the ball!

7. It takes a full swing of the putter to make a 15 yard putt because the greens are so slow.

8. You can drive by the course for 2 years and never actually know that its a golf course.

9. They let you walk 18 on the weekend

10. The ranger actually tells you to slow down and have a good time instead of rushing you along.

Also, the ranger isn't really an employee, its just an old guy in a cart who likes to drive around and watch people golf.