Tuesday, January 2, 2007

The Next Generation

I'm worried about kids these days. I'm worried that in 20 years, we will have a generation of people who can not walk on their own. They will be either too lazy or have had so many torn ACLs that they sound like the doors in a haunted mansion whenever they stand up. And I'm learning toward the former of the two. Have you seen fun slides? I just experienced this phenom over Christmas as some kid in my extended family was wearing them at Christmas (he was also dressed in full Paintball attire for a bulk of the time, but we won't go there, besides, for those of you who know me, you must live in constant fear that I will pull out a paintball gun at them at any time). So, basically, they are these slick plastic slides that you put on your feet so that you can slide around on carpet "like socks on a hardwood floor". Splinterrific! http://www.funslides.com/StaticWeb/products/FunSlides.html. As if last year's invention of putting wheels on their shoes wasn't enough, now they don't even have the effort of having to hold on to someone to pull themselves along, they can merely slide around. Seriously, I spent several hours in airports this fall, and I would put the number of kids with wheels on their feet at around 35%. I shockingly high number I thought, but based on my observation, that's my guess.
If these things catch on, in 20 years, a whole generation won't be able to walk. It's going to be sad.
Of all the things that technology has made irrelevant, I never saw walking coming. I guess I'm just one of those old fogies who still walk around with 2 my own feet and tennis shoes all day.